BEWARE: I got a drawing tablet.

I got a drawing tablet.

So that meens I have many pictures to show.

Some of these are quite drafty <3

In any case. I love them. My drawings are cool.

And one of the reasons I got it was so I could design characters on the fly!

And another reason I got it:

...was to help take notes for my designs!

Anywei. People have always told me my drawings look weird.

That's just how it's gonna be from now on, ok? I am weird. And I like being weird.

So.

Plz don't try to stop me from doing my art.

Because I've lived my entire life getting pushed down by people telling me not to try.

I was told to stop by people I loved.

I was told to stay within the bounds of some genre or follow "inspiration" of other artists, by taking ideas from them.

I was offered unsolicited advice by people who had never picked up a pen to draw.

They would get angry at me when I refused or did not value their "advice."

I spent years wasting away, toiling at inane 'jobs' and suffering for the sake of fulfilling someone else' idea of "me."

They will never understand the pain they caused me.

The work I put in to developing my own art style.

Because they have never tried themselves, and they want me to reaffirm their comforts.

I'm not sorry.

I have lived a life of kindness, where I always tried my best.

I don't forgive you.

Instead, I forgive myself. For being the fool I was to ever trust you.

I forgive myself for the times I put the opinions of others before my art.

My grandmother always supported my art. Unconditionally.

I never once had to justify my art as some money-making tool.

All that matters is doing what I love.

It isn't pretty all the time.

Not every piece of art holds the promise of wealth.

Some are honestly just ugly and loveable.

This is part of a process that money cannot buy. It's called "practice."

And sometimes practice leads to things that are cool.

Sometimes we just draw with random shapes to share our self expression with others.

This is my message for you. For those who stand in the way of artists, fabricating whatever reason sounds nice. But in the end:

...it's just envy driving you. All you want is to crush the creativity you envy. I am free to judge you. Harshly. You judged me first. No take-backs.

There are no "Hell"s but those we create. You made my life into a Hell. For something so trite as to satisfy your vision of who you thought I should be. I studied a field for 4 years in college that I had no interest in. I took on jobs that served selfish people that I had no connection to. I fulfilled the requirements of your false promises. And it was all so you could feel good about yourself.

Many other artists like me face similar trauma.

For you artists, who were also betrayed by those who you loved:

Your art will never abandon you.

Art you draw with pen and paper will live forever in your heart <3

The same is true of a digital platform. Your art will never abandon you <3

And to those who stand in the way of artists trying to express themselves without hurting anybody:

Even if I someday forgive you.

I will never forget who you are and what you do. It would take you multiple lifetimes to make it up to me. So just give up. I won't forgive you.

Even if I love you, I won't forgive you.

I have only myself to blame for ever trusting you.

And I forgive myself a thousand-fold.